The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself

Ursula K. Le Guin

As I’m gearing up to go on my ayahuasca retreat in a couple of weeks, I’m spending a lot of time sitting with my thoughts. I’ve also been completely sober from alcohol, cannabis, and other drugs. With no chemical interference changing how I think, I’ve had a lot of time to sit and ponder. This has led me to ask one simple question to make the most of this experience and my overall life…..why?

It seems pretty simple, and that’s partly because it is. It’s simple yet overlooked as well. I think asking yourself why might just be the key to living your life to its fullest potential. That obviously means different things to different people, but that’s precisely why you need to be asking yourself that question more often. 

Why Should I Ask Myself This?

On a macro level, it’s very easy to get caught up with day-to-day life to the point where you start going off on a path that doesn’t align with your values or goals. I’m certainly guilty of this. Taking time to stop and ask yourself why helps you realign yourself to make sure you’re pursuing something that brings you joy. This is something I talked briefly about in one of my previous posts. 

On a micro level, asking why you do certain things or react in certain ways can also help ward off unneeded stress. For example, I used to get really bad road rage. This isn’t uncommon, but I don’t think anyone would ever argue you need to get incredibly pissed off when someone cuts you off on the freeway. So let’s dive deeper by playing out a theoretical conversation between my conscious and I:

Conscious: Why are you getting road rage?

Me: Because this person just cut me off.

C: Why does that bother you? 

M: Because now I just had to slow down.

C: Why does THAT bother you?

M: It’s a slight inconvenience.

C: Is this going to matter in a day from now?

M: I guess not.

C: So why would you let it bother you to the point of getting angry and potentially doing something stupid while driving?

M: There’s no reason something this small and inconsequential should make me this angry. Fuck, you’re right.

BOOM. Road rage gone.

In this silly conversation, you can see how asking why after all of my responses helped me dig deeper to the root of the problem. Now obviously it’s not just gone like that in a day, but now whenever a situation comes up that would’ve normally caused me to react with genuine rage, I remind myself of this fake conversation to calm myself down.

What does this have to do with psychedelics?

Well…technically nothing. Everyone has the ability to stop and ask themselves why at any moment in time, and I highly encourage you to do so. However, this is easier said than done.

For me, it wasn’t until I started taking psychedelics that I was able to truly understand this concept. While tripping, normal everyday tasks can become very difficult. I don’t know about everyone else, but there comes a point during almost every LSD trip where I’ll start to question EVERYTHING. Even something as simple as walking can start to feel like I’m doing it wrong. I’ll literally have to remind myself to put one foot in front of the other for like 5 minutes. Either way, psychedelics help me remember and sometimes even force me to ask myself why.

Now obviously living your life questioning every little thing would be a nightmare, not to mention incredibly inefficient. That doesn’t mean we can’t still take this concept and apply it to everyday life. I especially like to ask myself why during times where I feel a lot of emotions. Whether I’m happy, sad, or angry, I find it helpful to understand why I feel those emotions. This helps me find ways to either replicate or avoid things that make me feel certain ways. Leaning into these feelings to understand where they’re coming from can help you get to the root of the matter. Once you’re here, you might realize that your intuition had the answer all along ;). 

Existential Conclusion

I’m convinced that nobody ever actually knows what the fuck they’re doing in life. We live on a giant floating rock in the middle of an ever expanding universe. I certainly can’t explain how that works and I’m also not going to try. My point is that life is inherently confusing and there’s no right or wrong answer on how to live it. That’s why we need to make the most of the one we have by doing what we love and not wasting time on the bullshit. Asking yourself why more often could potentially be the key to making the most of yours. Hope this helps!