This is not going to be a super long, drawn out post where I dive deep into a certain aspect of myself like the last couple ones have been. There will certainly be more of those lol, but not today. Today is about fucking around and having fun.
I’ve been writing a lot about my personal self-healing experiences lately and it’s been quite a journey to say the least. A lot of buried emotions that I’ve been hiding from for quite some time have finally come to the surface for me to face and it’s been super rewarding. It’s also nowhere close to being finished. I won’t lie though, I’m starting to feel some burnout.
I’ve made some amazing personal discoveries and feel like I’ve been doing a great job taking it day by day. On the flip side, It’s hard fucking work sitting with your deepest emotional traumas and feelings everyday. I was definitely having trouble towards the beginning of this journey balancing the integration process with my daily life, but it’s becoming more natural as each day passes. I’m making this post as a reminder to myself and anyone else on a similar journey to remember to have some fun along the way.
Everybody gets burnout at some point in their life. Whether that be burnout from work, the gym, being a parent (probably), or anything else, it’s bound to happen. Even when I’m going to concerts or travelling around and going out with friends, it can be exhausting. Self-healing is no exception. That doesn’t mean I need to go get blackout drunk to forget about my problems like I might’ve done in the past, but it just means I need to do something that makes me feel good without needing to think about all of the inner-work I’m also doing. For me, that might look like cooking a nice meal for myself or taking myself out to eat (I like food, sue me).
It could also mean just giving myself a day to do absolutely nothing. No plans, just vibes. I might go for a couple walks, watch a bunch or tv, read a book, or even just sit in complete silence for a bit. I’m definitely someone who feels anxious or bad if I’m being “unproductive,” but then I realize that somewhere in my past I’ve been taught to think I need to be productive at all times. This is false. The same way that thought has been wired into my brain, I can now consciously rewire it. Taking a day to do absolutely nothing is a way to help with that process. Play is just as important as work, if not more. Just make sure that whatever you choose to do, you’re enjoying the present moment without worrying about your long list of tasks you want to complete.
I can’t help but think back to the nights of my ayahuasca ceremonies where I was laughing hysterically. The amount of pure joy and happiness I felt during those moments were incredible. They weren’t even about anything in particular, it was just joy for the sake of joy. I think the ayahuasca was trying to tell me to never stop having fun and enjoying each moment, even during the “tough” times. Not many things in life are ever truly that serious, so it’s important to remind yourself of this.
Hope you enjoyed this post, and if you haven’t already done so today, take time for yourself and just have fun :).