Today is the day I leave for Peru. To say I’ve been waiting for a long time for this day would be an understatement. I started planning this trip back in February of this year and had the idea for it probably a couple of months before that. It seemed like a distant pipe dream back then, and it’s crazy to me that it’s finally here.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been doing some prep work to get ready, such as abstaining from all alcohol and recreational drugs. I also went on a diet about 2 weeks ago that has definitely not been easy for me, but I’m happy to say that I stuck to it. The lack of sodium in my diet caused me to lose about 5 pounds, but it’s mostly water weight so that’s fine I guess. However, I definitely want to gain weight again when I get back as I like lifting weights at the gym and being at a certain size that I consider healthy.
From a mental standpoint, I’ve certainly had some time to think and ponder over the last month. What was I thinking and pondering about? Well…everything. I’ve thought a lot about my past and the major moments in my life that have shaped me into who I am today. I thought about my relationships with friends and family and people that are no longer in my life. I’ve thought about what I want out of my life and whether or not I’m currently taking the right steps to get there. A big theme that came up was who I am right now vs who I want to be and what I want to become. This is a pretty existential question and probably doesn’t have an answer, but I look forward to seeing how I frame this after ayahuasca.
There was no judgment from myself when I was thinking about this over the past month, just simple self-reflection. There were definitely times where it felt like I was thinking way too much about this trip and getting some anxiety around it, but I feel confident saying I’m 100% ready for this. The excitement overpowers the anxiety by far. I trust the medicine to work in ways I don’t fully understand yet, and maybe never will. The biggest piece of advice I’m keeping in the back of my mind is to just surrender to the experience.
I’ll be sure to report how it goes once I get back. Thanks everybody for all of the support and for following along so far. I’m off!