Welcome to Trippy Monday’s, where I go over 3 things that caught my attention from this past week. It’s been 3 weeks since I sent out the last one because I’ve been busy, so it was tough picking the best moments, but I tried my best. Enjoy!
(1) I spent some time with my family in Lake Tahoe a couple of weeks ago. Specifically, I was with my older brother, 2 younger brothers, dad, and stepmom. My relationship with my family has always been interesting, to say the least. I’ve always felt like an outsider in the sense that I never felt like I was truly seen by my family for who I was, and I was always putting on a mask to act in the way that would bring me the least amount of suffering. Now that I’m more conscious of that, I’m a lot better at noticing my mind trying to make me act differently in order to fit in with what I think they want from me.
I’m also a lot better at telling that inner voice to fuck off and continuing to act more and more like myself without the fear of being made to feel like less, which happened a lot when I was growing up. I still have a ways to go before I feel completely comfortable around my family, but I like seeing my progress whenever I get the opportunity. Along with that, I can see more clearly the ways other members of my family repeat the same patterns of behaviour they picked up from childhood and haven’t made any effort to change. Most importantly, I’m learning to love them all for who they are and not who I wish they were.
(2) One of my friends said this quote to me, “Ever since you found inner peace, we never know what you’re thinking anymore.”
It just made me laugh a lot. I guess I’m a bit more mysterious than I was before, which I’m very okay with. Also I want to be clear that I definitely don’t think I’ve found complete inner peace, but I certainly have more so than before.
(3) I got the chance to see a couple of my closest friends since the last newsletter. It’s made me feel very thankful for the people in my life. It’s wild how much we’ve all changed, yet through it all we’ve been able to remain close friends. This is the essence of what true love is and it’s cool to see that play out with the people closest to me. Even though we have different interests and things in common in certain aspects of our lives, the love is still there.
Call one of your homies and tell them you love them this week.