The past couple of weeks have felt generally off to me. I’ve noticed myself having trouble focusing on my daily tasks and just feeling less motivated than usual. It almost feels like my mind is trying to suck me back into my old way of living. By that, I mean living my daily life going through the motions and just grinding for the sake of grinding. Moving without direction. While I believe that we should always be trying to move in some way, sometimes we need to just take a break and listen to our bodies.

To add to these general feelings that something is off, I started to feel sick this weekend as well. I really believe this is actually my body telling me to slow the fuck down. I used to get sick and take a bunch of medicine in order to still be able to function like normal, but I feel the urge to listen to my body this time and chill. It’s a good opportunity for me to reflect.

There’s been a lot of recent changes in my life and I’m definitely still adjusting to everything. These changes started out as purely internal ones, like changing the way I view myself and others around me. However, these internal changes have caused my life to start changing externally as well. It’s like a ripple effect. I don’t want to get into all of that right now, but I will soon. It’s nothing bad and I’m actually really excited, but it’s still a lot all at once. 

When your body starts giving you signs that something is off, it’s up to you to choose if you want to listen. My mind has been wandering a lot lately. This is nothing new, but I’m more aware of it now. I used to just be comfortable operating with a wandering mind. I would think that this is just how things are. Now I realize that it’s anxiety. I don’t view anxiety as a bad thing by the way, I actually view it as the opposite. I feel anxious for a reason, so it’s up to me to sit with that and understand why. I know there’s a deeper reason.

After I came to my most recent revelation regarding the thoughts I had about my dad when I was younger, I think it shocked my system a bit. I’ve noticed myself not wanting to write as much and do the general self-reflecting work I know I should be doing. I was trying to move on to the next thing without taking the proper time to deal with this. I think I just need to sit and feel those feelings more before I can move on to the next thing. This is why my body has been feeling off.

I’ve always been impatient. I’m not sure why, but I’m sure there’s a reason somewhere if I continue to dig deep enough. I always felt like I was in a rush to complete things. Anytime I would try something new, whether it be a hobby or sport, I would get bored if I wasn’t immediately good at it. I didn’t understand the power of consistency. This is one of the most important concepts I need to continually remind myself about. Self-healing and self-discovery isn’t a quick journey, it’s a lifelong practice. I’m going to make mistakes along the way, but as long as I remain consistent with my efforts, it’ll eventually become second-nature. I’m not quite there yet and I don’t know when I will be. I just need to be okay with that and everything will turn out fine… it always does. 

This post ended up being more of a rant than consolidated advice, but listening to my body has helped me become more focused again. I was giving my friend some advice recently and I think it’s advice that everyone can take regardless of the situation:

Whenever you feel stuck or lost, you already know the answer to the problem. You just need to learn how to access it within you. 

If you ever have any questions or ideas you want me to expand on, feel free to reach out to me at tripsittingblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.